Filed Under (humour) by Zoltan on 23-03-2012
Here is an little story that a friend of mine has told me lately….
One of the evening we have decided to meet and launch an party with friends. I promised my wife that point I’ll be home at midnight. But the party went too good, and too far. Cocktails, dancing, more drinks and time has run away. Finally, three in the morning arrived to home, needless to say ….. dead drunk… Just tried to shut the door silently behind me, when the bitch cuckoo clock has begin to work: “cuckoo … cuckoo … cuckoo”. Because I knew that my wife will wake up to that noise, I quickly continued the cuckoo’s nine more times. Gotten away with a thought of quarrelling, filled with pride with this brilliant idea – quietly went to bed next to my wife. The last thought before fallen asleep was – how smart and quick-witted I am … even in the critical moments I could invent myself.
The next morning when my wife asked me what time I came home, calmly replied “Exactly 12 at midnight, as promised, my darling”. She said nothing and even seemed to doubt either. Well, phew – gotten away with it …. that’s a MIRACLE !!!…. I thought… but when she turned back to me for a moment and said:
- By the way, I think you should replace that cuckoo clock!
- Yes, my love …but why? – I asked, trembling.
- Well, my baby…. I woke up at three o’clock night when the cuckoo chimed three times and the hell knows why or how, but then the bird has shouted somehow “F*ck !!!…” and did “cuckoo” then four more times as stumbled in the hallway, while did the other three and then the last “cuckoo” with laughing. Then one minute later one more loud “cuckoo!” while he stepped on a cat and broke the phone in the living room together with the table. The last, longest “cuckoo!” in bed next to me was released out of himself, and this bird has simply fell asleep, accompanied by a farting… So, you will replace it, right?
Filed Under (humour) by Zoltan on 26-06-2011
[Any similarity with reality is pure coincidence and the characters of this short story are just a product of the imagination.]
- Good morning! This is XYZ helpdesk, Gízá speaking. How may I help you?
- My ID is AQ9847DA and I need a new password. Hurry please!
- Good morning again. May I have your name as well?
- Sure, no problem. My name is Eva.
- Thank you very much, Eva. I`ll try to find you in the system.
- I need this password immediately.
- What kind of password would you like?
- MMPX and right now.
- Just spare me a second please and I will give you the new credential.
- Why is so difficult? I don`t have time!
- I`m doing my best, however I must access certain applications.
- What for?
- Just for security reasons.
- It is only a damn password!
- Yes it is. May I ask you the secret question?
- I don`t know what are you talking about, mister.
- You set a while ago a secret security question and the answer for it.
- And I will ask this question. If you know the answer, I am able to give you a new password.
- OK, let`s do it!
- So, please tell me, Eva: “What is my daughter`s name?”
- How should I know, what is your daughter`s name?!
- Well, this is your secret question in the system.
- I don`t know what`s this bullshit.
- I am asking you a simple thing, Eva. Your secret question.
- OK and what is that?
- I already asked you: “What is my daughter`s name?”
- And I am wondering, again: how the hell should I know your daughter`s name?!
- Look, dear Eva! I do not have a daughter, I have a son.
- I do not get the point anyway! What kind of stupid game is this, mister?
- I can assure you: this is not a game, this is your secret question.
- I don`t understand a thing.
- Without this I cannot give you the new password.
- You must be kiddin` me…
- Eva, I am very serious. With this secret question and the proper answer you will confirm to me that you are not an intruder but the real user. I must know 100 percent sure that I will give the new password to the owner of the account.
- This is a stupid game.
- No, it is not. This is the procedure, and I didn`t make it. So, I will ask you again: “What is my daughter`s name?”
- I am sick and tired of this, mister!
- Please Eva, please try to help me! I`m trying to help you. I know your answer, but I cannot tell you. You must tell me. This is your secret question, you made this security setting. Without the answer you won`t get a new password. I am so sorry, but I cannot do it.
- I don`t need your sorry, I just need the damn password.
- Look, lady! Do you have a daughter or not?
- Yes, I do. I have.
- And what is her name, just tell me please.
- Bingo, this is the right answer.
- And why didn`t you start with this one, mister?!